I had my second rehearsal for "Godspell" on Monday night, and let me just tell you, I think it will be really good! "Godspell" is one of those shows were the director can have a lot of liberty with the setting and some of the physical comedy. The director told us what he wants to do tonight, and I whole-heartily approve. I also met all the leads, and everyone is cast perfectly! I'm honestly really impressed, and it was only the second rehearsal.
I have a little insecurity that I will be the one who brings it all down... I know that's a lie that Satan has put there, but I can't help freaking out that I'm not good enough. I know I have a minor in Theatre and have been in multiple shows, but I can't help thinking that the only reason I got a part is because I showed up for auditions. They had a poor turnout at auditions, so basically everyone who did audition got some kind of a role, so that just makes me wonder if I deserve it.
The one thing I know with complete certainty is that I AM a good actress. I know I can do anything they ask me to do in the acting department (well, accept a Groucho Marc voice), but I'm really concerned about the singing bit. I CAN sing, but I get reeeeally freaked out about singing in a roomful of people. PLUS, I just learned tonight that not only will I be singing my own song, but I will be singing HARMONY on a duet with another girl... this might not seem hard to some of you, but if you sing, and you're a soprano, you will know that harmony is something that sopranos just don't normally do. I have a REALLY hard time with harmony. Please tell me you feel my pain.
Anyway, I could use a lot of prayer over the next couple of months. Please pray that I win some confidence and am able to memorize the harmony part on the duet. I really want to do well. I definitely do not want to be that actress who totally chokes onstage.
Well, here's another thing I can be sure of... it takes a really strong person to put herself/himself out there for potential embarrassment and utter failure for a theater full of people to see... but I could also really hit it out of the park. That's what I need. I need to hit it out of the park.